Tuesday, December 27, 2011

New addiction...

Guess who just joined Pinterest?  This amazing site is far too addicting, but it is also quite lovely.

Find me here: http://pinterest.com/ehspeecher/

Over and out,


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Over and Out,


Monday, December 12, 2011

A Good Word

I am frequently amazed at God’s timing. Somehow, as often as His timing is perfect, I still manage to be surprised, how very human of me.

I got sick Thursday night. It was short lived, but unpleasant all the same. Lying on our couch all day Friday was no fun, and somehow the exhaustion lasted through Saturday and Sunday as well. During this whole three day span of time I read my Bible a total of zero times.

Today however, being the twelfth of December, I picked up my Bible and read the twelfth Psalm as well as the twelfth chapter of Proverbs.


“The words of the LORD are pure words,
like silver refined in a furnace on the ground,
purified seven times.”
~Psalm 12:6
“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down,
but a good word makes him glad.”
~Proverbs 12:25

Oh! How I needed to hear those words! I have been stressing like no other lately, first about the Apologetics practice tournament a family from my speech club just hosted (which is the reason for the lack of posts this past couple weeks) and now I am super nervous about the first tournament coming up in about three and a half weeks.

Anxiety has been weighing down my heart. No joke, either, that’s what it feels like: a huge, awkward weight. “But a good word makes him glad.” What better word to make me glad than the word of God? “Like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.

Thank you, Lord, that is exactly what I needed to hear.

Over and out,


Monday, November 14, 2011


What is necessary? You probably know that I’m busy working on cutting my new persuasive speech right now, and this is the question that I am constantly asking myself.

It’s shocking just how little is necessary.

I am so emotionally attached to each and every sentence in this speech that it all seems to be so very needed, but when it all comes down to it about 90% of my speech is nothing but fluff.

It’s like that in all situations; in all of life.

We get quite dreadfully attached to things that we feel are necessary…and yet, the only thing that we truly need is God.

“In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.”

As Amy Carmichael so aptly put it, "The foundation of our happiness must be invisible, not visible.  It must not depend on circumstances of any sort whatever.  Let us gratefully take all that is given us of visible good things, for they are the gift of our most loving Father.  But do not let us build on these things.  No, never."

He is all I need, all else is fluff. In Christ alone.

Over and out,


"In Christ Alone" Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

emotions and more on trust...






Cloud Nine





Speech Writing.  She knew all too well that each and every one of these emotions is quite present in this process, usually in that order, too. 

The Lord inspired her to write a speech on a great topic, she pondered for a while and then concern set in.  Nothing was getting written.  Every time she tried to write anything it came out a jumbled mass of thoughts with no logical flow whatsoever.  The concern then grew to worry when it had been quite a few months since she had decided on the topic and still nothing was taking shape.  The worry then escalated to full fledged fear when it was almost November and she had nothing saved in her speech folder on the computer.  "What am I going to do?  The first tournament is at the beginning of January and I have nothing!  I don't know what to do!" 

Then it happened.  Words started flowing from her pen almost too quickly.  She couldn't stop writing.

The introduction was written.

The first and second points were written.

The third point was written.

The conclusion was written.

Oh, the thrill! She then floated around the house entirely on cloud nine for some time. 

Then she timed her speech.

"What?  Fifteen minutes?  What's the matter with this stopwatch?  No!  I only have ten minuted to talk and I don't know what to cut!  What am I going to do?"

She spent days worried again about her now too-long speech.  She read it over and over and each time was able to cut only a sentence or two. 

But, as He always does, the Lord came through.  With the help of a dear friend of hers she was able to trim her speech down to a reasonable time. 

There's still work to be done on her speech, she still has lots to cut, it's not perfect by any stretch, but it is so glorious for her to know that God cares about every sentence in her speech.  He knows each and every word that needs to be said and He knows each and every word that should be cut.

She had recently finished reading Leviticus and Numbers.  As she read through incredibly obscure laws something dawned on her.  God cares about every single detail in our lives.  Every single thing.  There is nothing too small for Him to deeply, sincerely care about.  What a comfort!

Somehow, the burden of writing a speech becomes...well, not a burden anymore.  It becomes an adventure.  For her, speech writing is now becoming a great treasure hunt, and she is eagerly awaiting the next miracle, the next lesson, the next challenge that awaits.


"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."
~Proverbs 3:5-6

Over and out,


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

When I was Sixteen

You know how every once in a while something will really hit you hard even though you've known it for ages? That happened to me on my birthday, which was the day before yesterday.

I was writing a song about how we are constantly changing and how God is always the same and it sort of smacked me across the face. =)

My sixteenth year was absolutely incredible. I grew closer to God than I've ever been before, I got to know dozens of wonderful people, I flew across the country, I competed at Nationals, broke my nose, was in my second wedding (well, not my second wedding, but...you know), attended a phenomenal debate camp, started writing poetry and songs, started learning how to read music and play the piano, I found out about modern day slavery, I spoke to my city council, I got an awesome job. This has been a terrific year!

My birthday morning I was feeling sort of melancholy. my sixteenth year, the most wonderful year ever, is over.

Then, as I was writing that song, it really hit me. God was the same during my sixteenth year as He was when I was two or nine or fourteen. God was the same then as He will be this next year and He'll still be the same when I'm twenty one and forty seven and ninety, if I live that long.

God didn’t get better this last year. He didn't love me more or show more interest in my life when I was sixteen. God was the same and He is the same and He always will be the same. He is the same now as He was when He, "was hovering over the face of the waters," (Genesis 1:2) He is the same now as He was when Mary, "gave birth to her firstborn Son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn," (Luke 2:7) and He is certainly the same now as He was when I forgot my whole speech and He gave it back to me, one line at a time.

I may not feel Him the way that I did at the Emerald City Qualifier, or at Nationals or at Debate camp, or in front of the City Council, but He is right here holding me every step of the way, and He always will be.

"Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever You had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting You are God."
~Psalm 90:2

"Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
for His steadfast love endures forever!"
~1 Chronicles 16:34

"Jesus Christ is the same
yesterday and today and forever."
~Hebrews 13:8

Over and out,


Saturday, October 8, 2011

Real Meaty Stuff...And Some Goals =)

I made my first pot roast last night!  Thank you, Ree Drummond of thepioneerwoman.com, for the lovely recipe.  I did add potatoes to mine, though.  What is a pot roast without potatoes?  And thank you, Heavenly Father, for helping it to be even better than barely edible!

In the past month I have baked my first two whole chickens along with my pot roast, all of which turned out quite nicely.

It's funny, I thought that I knew how to cook, and I do...sort of.  But my list of meals that I can cook well is...well, rather short.  I mean to fix that, though.

I can just see my husband someday asking, "Hon, didn't we have pot roast two nights ago?" to which my reply would be, "Oh, that's right...well, I'll make spaghetti again!"  I can almost hear his disgusted groan. 

That will not be reality.  No, sir, not for this blogger.  I shall work hard this year at broadening my horizons in the kitchen.

This got me thinking about readiness, though.  "And, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace." (Ephesians 6:15)  Readiness is such an important thing that it is actually a piece of the armor of God.  That's big! 

It's so easy to forget that the time that I have right now is preparation for later in life.  During my "teen years," if I listen to what He's telling me, God is working on preparing me to be a godly wife and mother someday.

That is a sobering thought.  Each day I am doing things that contribute to my future, whether they are good contributions or bad.  It makes me want to re-do a whole lot of days that I've wasted.

Goals are good things.  If you don't know where you are going, how are you going to get there?  Yes, goals are good things, and God is so good at helping us to achieve the goals that He puts on our hearts.

So, here are some goals that I am hoping to achieve during this school year:

  • Finish reading the Bible all the way through
  • Read Wayne Grudem's "Systematic Theology" from cover to cover
  • Read at least one Dickens book :::Shudder:::
  • Learn to cook at least fifteen new meals well
  • Learn to sew...something...anything
  • Learn to garden without wanting to rip my hair out
  • Finish learning to read music (Update!  It's coming along nicely!)
  • Write the music for at least five of my songs (Update!  I have finished the lyrics to nine songs!)
  • Actually graduate (which might be hard with all of this and 5 speech events and debate...oh dear...)
  • Memorize at least one book of the Bible
  • Learn to budget well while food shopping (which isn't exactly one of my goals, but my parents actually want to trust me with the food money for a month along with meal planning and cooking...I am terrified, to say the least)

Well, that's all for now,  at least, that's all that I'm willing to share on the world wide web.  =)

Over and out,


P.S  I just changed the commenting settings on this blog, so now all of you lovely people can comment, even non-blogger users!  Happy commenting!  =)

Wow, I write the most random, disconnected posts...      


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A New Year...A New Adventure...

Oh the thrill! I went to speech and debate club last night, the third meeting of the season, not expecting anything too abnormal...I was pleasantly surprised =)

I moseyed my way over to the Platform room and talked with an alum friend and one of the mothers about my new persuasive idea. I had had an outline, the skeleton, of my speech for about a week, but I was totally stuck. I'm telling you, starting a speech is just about the hardest part of public speaking. I knew what I wanted to include in my intro, I knew what I wanted to talk about, it was just a matter of actually getting it on paper.

Well, it happened last night! With most speeches that I've done I've been dreadfully stuck and then I'll have an epiphany moment and it all comes at once. I had that lovely light bulb go off in my head after I got home last night...and I stayed up until shortly after midnight writing the introduction and part of my first point.

If you haven't competed with speeches before you can't possibly understand that moment. The moment when you know you've got it. That glorious feeling of picking up a pen and writing out sentences which then form paragraphs which then form an introduction, a first point, a second point and finally a third point and conclusion.

Words are powerful things. I cannot possibly describe to you the feeling of knowing that God is speaking words through you. It's sort of like when you're so happy that you get a lump in your throat and almost cry...only so much better. Oh, how glorious!

I went to sleep last night thoroughly giddy. It has begun! A new speech season full of new adventure and new lessons and new challenges!
"Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth;
break forth into joyous song and sing praises!
Sing praises to the LORD with the lyre,
with the lyre and the sound of melody!
With trumpets and the sound of the horn
make a joyful noise before the King, the LORD!"
~Psalm 98:4-6
Over and out,


Monday, October 3, 2011

Can't Control Myself...

I have come to realize more and more that I really can't control myself.

There.  I said it.  =)

It seems that the more that I try to control myself the more I find my mind wandering, words slipping out that are anything but graceful, my eyes rolling...I find that my attitude sort of disintegrates when I'm trying to be in control. 

2 Corinthians 11:3 says, "But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ."

So often I find my thoughts dwelling on things that are not of Christ.  Most of the time I'm not thinking of things that are really "sinful," but when they are taking a higher priority in my life than Christ, they become sinful.  My thoughts are constantly being, "led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ."  Webster's New World College Dictionary defines "Pure" as, "free from any adulterant; unmixed."  The "unmixed" really got me, what would unmixed devotion to Christ look like?  Oh, it would be glorious!  To have thoughts, dreams, desires, aspirations, words, actions that all show an unmixed devotion to Christ would be...Is there an adjective that could describe that kind of beauty?

A dear friend and I have been praying over the phone together nearly every day for the past few months and I have found that the more she prays the Armor of God and the Fruit of the Spirit over me the less I think of things that I ought not, the less I say things that I end up regretting and the less I have a bad attitude in general.  I won't lie, I still have a horrid attitude far more than I wish to admit, but it's getting better, and I know it's not me.

I certainly don't believe that we are God's little puppets, but I do believe that without Him we don't have the strength to accomplish just about anything meaningful and lasting.

John 14:16 says, "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever."  Isn't that amazing?  The Lord knows so well that we are not strong enough or wise enough to be able to do much at all by ourselves, so He gave us a helper, the Holy Spirit, to live with us and guide us.

He wouldn't command us to, "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil," ( Ephesians 6:11) if there was no way for us to do that.  He gave us the Holy Spirit, our "Helper," so that we can, "Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."  (Ephesians 6:14-17) 

He is who surrounds us with His truth.  He is who covers our hearts with His Righteousness.  He is who protects our feet, makes them ready for everything that He calls us to do and gives us His all encompassing peace.  He is who makes our faith strong enough to, "extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one."  He is who protects our thoughts, our words, and the things that we hear and see with His glorious salvation.  He is who gives us His word and trains us to use it for His glory.  We can do nothing without Him, and we can do anything with Him.

I do not have the strength, the will-power, the wisdom, the...ummm, anything to protect myself from the evil one, much less fight back.  Oh, but He does! 

For so long I have lived in fear of giving up control.  Now I realize that I didn't really have much control over anything anyway.  Now I am filled with awe and wonder and joy at the thought that the God who created the universe, the God who created microorganisms and black holes in outer space is the same God who is my helper. 

So, I don't have to control myself, I simply have to let Him control me, to work through me.  Somehow surrendering non-existent power isn't as hard as I used to think it would be.  =)

Over and out,


P.S. I know, I changed the blog again...I'm still in the process of a re-design, but it should be done soon and then I'll let it be for awhile  =)   

Sunday, September 18, 2011

So Many Little Things

"I aw-most see it!"  The words were lisped by a little boy I watched yesterday.  He and his older brother (two and three and a half years) spent the day with us.  The two munchkins, along with Johnny, were outside playing with dump-trucks, mini hockey sticks and empty water guns while I read them a story.  About halfway through reading one of them jumped up and yelled excitedly, "It's a snake!"  And so, the chase began.  We followed after it as it slithered in and out of the same tree trunk about five times and then, finally, found its way under our garden shed.

The sweet two year old bent himself in half trying to see that poor snake.  "I aw-most see it!"  My heart nearly melted.  Had I been on my own I would have quickly found a new place to read, but to these boys that snake was an adventure.

"What kind is it?"
"He's a Garter snake."
"Is he a bad one?"

In almost no time at all their short attention spans found a new adventure, the garden.  "Can we go look at those blackberries?"  We did more than look, we ate quite a few.  And then it was the kittens, the bunnies, a "walk" in the wagon, a little scooter, the dump-trucks again, Thomas the tank engine, a Veggie Tale, the kittens again, along with another visit to the bunnies, and another ride in the wagon.  Everything that we came across was a new adventure.

I was reminded of the beauty in life.  In everything that is to be had there is something beautiful.  A Garter snake, a rusty old wagon, a stick.  They saw the adventure in everything. 

Over and Out,


P.S. Like the new design?  I know, I change it too much... I also added something to the sidebar.  I haven't been acting very thankful lately, so I decided to add that and try to change it each time I post.  I also added a few blogs to the "You Ought to Visit..." (Which I just re-named) and changed the "About Me," (which is also re-named)...lots of changes. Enjoy!              

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Lessons From an Almost Two Year Old

One of the things that blows my mind most about babies is their readiness to forgive.  It never ceases to amaze me when I discipline Johnny (my almost two year old brother) for being naughty and the first thing that he does is turn around and give me a big hug.

I have so much to learn from Johnny!  I am an expert grudge keeper.  Really, if it were an Olympic event I would have a gold medal or two (or three or four...).  and yet, Johnny, my baby brother, forgives before he has even stopped crying from being told "No, no, Johnny!"

I won't go into elaborate detail, because I think that we all know that we ought to forgive.  Jesus was quite clear on this point.

"Then Peter came up and said to Him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven."  ~Matthew 18:21-22

Forgiveness takes a great perspective shift.  Rather than focusing on the great and terrible things that people have done to us, we need to be looking at what we did to Christ.

I heard a speech a few years ago about what crucifixion actually was, down to the most gruesome details, and it changed my life.  Sunday school had watered it down for me.  I knew that Jesus had gone through discomfort for us, but...wow.  We did that to Christ, and He readily opens His arms to us for a big hug, for an eternity in heaven with us, just like Johnny after discipline, wanting a hug.  Now, Johnny did something wrong, and needed correction, and, of course, Jesus did nothing to deserve the punishment that He received, but do you get what I'm saying?  Jesus forgave us so completely that He wants to live with us forever!

That is forgiveness.

"Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name. 
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

For if you forgive others their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
~Matthew 6:9-15

Over and out,


Thursday, September 8, 2011

Not About Feeling

I’m going through quite an interesting chapter in life right now. I feel strangely…numb.

I just had the most amazing school year and speech season ever followed by my best summer yet. At each speech tournament I could feel God’s presence right there every second and it was almost like a weight. It felt so good to be nearly crushed by God’s presence, by His glory! I could never adequately explain it to you. I felt the same indescribable feeling of God’s presence at debate camp. I have grown closer to God in the past 7 ½ months that in the previous 16 years altogether.

Now I am going through quite a different thing. I’m not feeling God right there with me every second. I’m not hearing His voice speaking to me as I read His word. This really got me thinking, though. Love isn’t about feeling “in love,” it’s an action. You love someone by putting them before yourself, by working to please them, by paying attention to them and spending time with them whether you want to or not.

Love is not about feeling head-over-heels, madly, passionately crazy about someone. That’s what Hollywood thinks, but feelings don’t last and that’s a huge part of why marriage is nearly obsolete right now. Feeling is what love has become about.

I recently watched the movie, “The Last Song,” and quite enjoyed it. Boys, it’s quite a chick flick, so you wouldn’t like it, but I thought it was sweet. Anyway, at one point the “guy” says to the “girl,” “No one makes me feel like you do.” and us girls’ hearts melt into puddles of sentimental goo. But really? How selfish is that? He “loves” her because of how she makes him feel?

And then it struck me. That’s how I’ve been treating my relationship with God. He made me feel amazing for 7 glorious months and now I don’t’ feel amazing anymore. I was loving God because of how He made me feel. I am SO selfish!! That is not what biblical love or biblical faith is based on.

1 Corinthians 13 describes true love beautifully, as only God can describe it.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

I just read Hebrews 11:1-3 which says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.”
The chapter goes on to say, in verse 6, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

Have you ever seen two people who are in love? I mean truly, unselfishly in love? If you’ve ever seen that you know that they are constantly trying to please each other and make the other person loved and important. “ And without faith it is impossible to please him.” 1 Corinthians 13 tells us not only how we ought to love other people but also how God loves us, and how we should be loving God. Now Hebrews 11 tells us how to please our Hero, by having faith.

Love is not about feeling, it’s an action. Even during this dry, desert-like season of my life I can be loving God, I can be pleasing Him, I can have faith in Him.

Over and out,


Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Somewhere, somehow, someone is going to read this, and someone is going to care.
Maybe not you, maybe you’re not part of God’s plan to free the slaves in this world.
Maybe you don’t feel their pain. I do, though.

I think of the pain that these people feel every moment of their lives and
I can nearly feel their shackles cutting through the skin on my own wrists.

I think of the horror that little children all over the world are forced to fight battles,
to kill human beings,
and I cry.

I want to scream.

I want to hit something.

I want to stop this horrible reality that is slavery in our world today.

You might not believe me, I didn’t believe it, but it’s true.
I’m not talking underpaid workers, or child labor.
Those things are wrong, but that’s not slavery.
I’m talking about people owning people and forcing them to work.

This is slavery and it is real.
This is slavery and it is the life that at least 27 million live every day right now.

Please educate yourself about these atrocities.
Please don’t push it aside.
Please don’t act like you’re too small to make a difference.
Do me a favor and read what this site has to say about slavery,
and then check this one out, too.
 Please don’t sacrifice their lives for your ease of mind.
Yes, it’s a hard truth to read about, to learn about.
But it is truth,
and we must learn about it so that we may change it.

Over and out,


Thursday, August 25, 2011


Okay, you all have my permission to be proud of me...hehehe =)  No, really.  I'm trying to learn to write music!!!  This is an incredible feat for me, too, because I don't even know how to read music =P  Yeah, I know, I'm strange...  I have these "songs" that keep popping into my head and I know that if I don't get them down on paper I'll forget them. 

Wow, sheet music is SO crazy!  I am thoroughly impressed with all of you lovely, musically talented people out there =)

I'll let you know if this comes to anything, but it's awfully fun to try learning!

Over and out,


Friday, August 19, 2011

I'm Thankful For...


the beach...




my little brother eating sand...

chasing seagulls with Johnny...

running through the waves with Kaity...

tickling my mom...

a picnic with my family...


watching Joe dig a fort...

taking Johnny to the water and letting the "bubbles" get his feet...

burying Becky's legs in the sand, making her a "mermaid tail..."

the beautiful Redwoods...

a long drive...

a clean room...

a stack of great books to read...

a fun movie to watch with my family...

yummy food...

Over and out,


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Proverbs 19:21

((This is what I just posted on my H2O group's website, h2ograntspass.weebly.com))

We are entering a new chapter for H2O Grants Pass.

Just this last week on the front page of the Grants Pass Daily Courier there was an article mentioning that the city council was to be discussing, and possibly deciding on whether or not to adopt, a proposed ordinance prohibiting car drivers, and passengers, from handing items of worth, such as money, H2O bags, water bottles etc., out of their car windows to pedestrians, including panhandlers, of course.  To be honest, the last thing that I wanted to do was speak to the city council about this, but I truly felt God telling me to trust in Him and go speak to them.

My mother spoke first, one of her points being that she is trying to teach her children to be compassionate and this law would legislate them not being able to.

I spoke directly after her and it went quite well.  God really gave me the strength to get through this terrifying thing, and I am so grateful.  I mentioned that this ordinance would not solve the panhandling problem, it would only funnel the people standing on street corners into parking lots and foot traffic, which is what happened in Medford, where this is already law.  I touched on the fact that, as a young lady, I do not feel safe with panhandlers coming up to me in parking lots.  I spoke about H2O bags being a great solution that actually directs and homeless people to places that can help them.  My biggest point, though, was that this ordinance would essentially be punishing those who want to help the less fortunate.  My closing statement was, "No one should ever, ever be punished for having compassion on someone."

The law passed.

The Mayor complimented me on how well I spoke, three or four of the city councilors commented on what we had said.  This law passed 7-1.

Walking out of the council building with my mom I started crying.  "They didn't listen to a word we said!"  But the morning after speaking to the council I read Proverbs 19:21, which says, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand," and I realized, all over again, that God's plans are often so very different than ours.

God does have a plan for this; He has some great purpose in this that we don't see quite yet.

Wednesday night I felt as if H2O Grants Pass had just been shut down, but it wasn't at all.  There will certainly be some kinks to work out, but then, God is so incredibly good at working kinks out.

We now must either pull to the side of the road or else get out of our cars in order to legally hand H2O bags to panhandlers and homeless people in the Grants Pass city limits.  The same goes for money, water bottles or any other, "item of value."  Wednesday night this seemed like the end of the world, but somehow, today it really doesn't seem very large at all.  God has shrunk it back to the size that it really is.

Something that God brought to my attention, and several others pointed it out as well, is the fact that this will cause us to actually engage with these people.  It's so easy to just stick an H2O bag out of our car window and call it good, but these are human beings, and they deserve more respect than that.  I am so excited to have conversations with them; to let them know that I truly do care.  What a blessing this is!

Proverbs 3:19-20 says, "the Lord by wisdom founded the earth; but understanding He established the heavens; by His knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down dew."  The Lord's wisdom so very greatly exceeds my own.  By His wisdom He founded the earth!  God has known about this since before He created the world and He has it so marvelously under control.

Corrie Ten Boom once said, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."  I do not know what the future holds for H2O Grants Pass, but God does, and I'm very excited to find out what He has planned.  Will you join me on this new adventure?


Monday, August 1, 2011

Fear and Trembling

Two days ago I attended the Rebelution conference in Portland, Oregon and thoroughly enjoyed it, was challenged by it and encouraged by it. I met Elaini, a young woman doing hard things for orphans in India (check out her blog here) and that was a true blessing. I also was able to speak to Brett Harris for a couple of minutes and just thank him for what they are doing and that was also quite nice. (Check out the Rebelution here)

I loved how very humble Alex and Brett are. They both know that everything that they have achieved has been through God’s provision and strength. They know that they are not super heroes and that each and that all “teens” are capable, through God’s power, to do just what they have done. This was so encouraging.
Something that really stuck with me was what they said about not letting ourselves get weighed down, stuck, by worry. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by what the future does, or doesn’t, hold and I find myself worrying almost constantly about one thing or another. What they said really helped to put things in perspective. It’s quite easy, especially as an almost-senior, to get caught up in asking questions such as, “What does God want me to be doing right now?” “How can I best be serving my family?” “Who am I going to marry?” “Who should I spend my time with?” or even simple things such as, “What should I say to this person?” and that’s not the point. God has everything under control and I have no right to doubt His power. Instead of asking questions like those that I just listed I should be asking, “am I serving Jesus Christ with all of my heart, soul, strength and might?” and, “Am I loving my neighbor as myself?” That really struck me and challenged me.

In just a few days I am (Lord willing) going to be speaking to about 180 people about Hope 2 Others, a ministry for the homeless that I’m involved in. I’ve spoken to more people than that about H2O before, but I didn’t have as much time to prepare as I have this time and I’ve had a lot of time to get nervous about it. I’ve been worrying about every single thing that could possibly (or couldn’t possibly) happen and it hasn’t been helping me, it has been paralyzing me, and I’ve been letting it do so.

When Alex Harris started talking about fear and worrying right away my mind went to this speaking engagement. Fear is something that I struggle with hugely, and I hate it. Nervousness, fear, insecurity, anxiety, whatever you want to call it, I know it quite well.

This past week God has been telling me in so many, many different ways that I have no need, and no right, really, to fear. I opened my Bible and few days ago and it fell open to Psalm 77 which, by the way, is a new favorite of mine. This psalm was written by Asaph who was struggling and suffering greatly when he wrote it. He felt that God had deserted him. Instead of giving in to these doubts, instead of worrying about the future, instead of having a private pity party for himself he praised the Lord. He remembered the many times when God had delivered His people and this knowledge was Asaph’s comfort.

I do not have one single legitimate reason to be nervous about this speaking engagement. I’ve told you about some of the many times when God has spoken through me, through my failures and helped me through them at past speech tournaments and speaking engagements (read about them
here, here, here and here) and I didn’t even tell you the half of it. God has delivered me, spoken through me, and worked miracles through my weaknesses over and over and over and over and He has never failed me. I have every reason in the world to trust Him and not one single reason to worry.

On the ride home from the conference I read Psalm 127 and the first two verses popped out at me in a way that they never have before.

"Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.”

I can do nothing on my own. If I were to be speaking on my own I would have every reason to fear and worry.  Honestly, if I were to be speaking on my own I would almost definitely throw up or pass out.  But I don’t have to speak on my own, I have the King of heaven and earth on my side and I have no reason to fear.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."
~Deuteronomy 31:6

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
~Joshua 1:9

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
~Isaiah 41:10

“And when they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”
~Luke 12:11-12

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
~2 Timothy 1:7

“Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.”
~1 Peter 3:13-17

Over and out,


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Nationals 2011

Sorry this has taken so very, very long, folks...I know, I say that before just about all of my posts  =)

I thought about giving you guys a play by play of my entire trip, but, to be honest, that would be quite boring, ridiculously long and I wouldn't be able to remember half of what happened...So, there goes the play by play idea  =)  So, I'll try to give you a short little post (that idea, though, is almost laughable) with just some of my favorite events (which means this could be quite long...lol).

I also thought about writing something about the flights, because all but one of them were wonderful and it was my first time flying, but most of you have flown many times, so I won't bore you with how amazing I thought it was.

So, now that I've told you everything that I won't be writing about, let's get to what I will be.

Traveling with Sarah Anne was incredible.  She is the most encouraging person I know and is FAR more patient than I am.  She really does put me to shame.

We spent two awesome days in the Chicago suburbs with Sarah's family and had a fantastic time with them. 

We then flew to Boston (!) and were met by the (:::drum roll, please:::) ultra-amazing Thompson family!  (:::And the crown goes wild!:::).  They truly were a joy to tour with.

We toured Harvard square the first night and loved it.  The next day we saw just about everything that there is to see in Boston.  My favorite things, believe it or not, were the cemeteries, they were so incredibly beautiful and peaceful.

The next day we toured more and ended up having the grand opportunity of visiting the JFK Presidential Library, which was phenomenal.

Gordon College (the location of the tournament) was...well, beautiful.  I loved that it was like a little NCFCA village.  We stayed on site in one of the dorms, which should have helped us to get more sleep, but instead we stayed up later and got up earlier...Oh yes, we are wise.

The tournament itself was incredibly strange.  There were numerous things that I very much disliked, dozens of awkward situations that I wish had been avoided and the most horrible alumni presentation ever, and yet the tournament was still my favorite tournament in my three years in the NCFCA.

I got closer to the people in Region II in five days than I had in all three previous years, I loved staying on site, I saw some spectacular speeches and watched some awesome debates (TP debate with quotes from Star Wars, I mean, enough said, right?), but I think the thing that made it so incredible was how much closer I got to the Lord in those 5 short days.  I don't know what it was that caused that growth, but I really feel like a different person now than before Nationals.

One particular incident that very possibly lent itself to this growth was my first round.  I don't know if I wasn't focused enough, hadn't practiced my speech enough or if I was just plain nervous, but I failed that round.  I stumbled over numerous things that I had never had trouble with before, mixed up a Bible reference with a verse (and corrected myself) and said "excuse me," probably close to seven times.  This was the first time I had ever actually not wanted to finish my speech.  I truly, honestly wanted to leave the room.  I wanted to give up.  Needless to say, I was quite discouraged after that round.  I felt like I had blown every chance at breaking to out rounds, and even though that doesn't matter in the long run it's a very disappointing feeling.  I felt like I had let down all of the people who had supported me in going to Nationals.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but God spoke to me later that day and helped me to realize that I had been getting cocky and confident in myself.  I had been told over and over how great my speech was and what a gifted speaker I am (which, honestly, is somewhat comical) and I think it had started going to my head.  I believe that that horrid round was God reminding me that my speaking skills are non-existent and that I wouldn't have had a great speech were it not for Him.  In that one round I spoke with all of my strength and failed miserably.  For the rest of the tournament God showed me His unfathomable strength which is the strength and power that caused me to break to Quarter Finals.

They announced my name with the Persuasive Quarter breaks and I literally started sobbing hysterically...I probably looked pretty interesting.  That same awesome strength, the strength and power of God, is the same strength that broke me past Quarters to Semis and then to Finals and, in the end, placing 5th in the nation in Persuasive speaking.

None of this was me.  We saw my strength in that first round and it was pitiful.  God's strength carried me through each round, His words came out in my speech and He touched the judge's hearts.

I don't feel like I earned my medal at all, I didn't even earn my way to Nationals (read about that here), but I have learned throughout this speech season, and at Nationals in particular, that God can, and does, show His great strength through our weaknesses.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
~2 Corinthians 12:9

"Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!"
~Psalm 115:1

Over and out,


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Quick Update =)

Alrighty folks,

I don't have time for a full update on this blog, but I'll just say that I did end up getting an At Large slot to Nationals, and I leave in two days.  I am flying with one of my best friends and we're spending a couple days in Chicago before heading to Boston and touring there.  =)  Please check out my H2O blog for the whole story. 

I love you all bunches and can't wait to tell you how Nationals go!

Over and Out,


Monday, April 18, 2011

Region II Invitational 2011

How do you like my new background?  I thought it was more cheerful and spring-ish than the last one...So I changed it  =)

Anyway, the Lord did it again, He performed more miracles at this tournament than I could ever list.  I am constantly amazed at how very different His plans are than mine...and how much better His are.

My family had been fighting the stomach flu for a few days before Regionals. We were all praying that we would be fine until after we got home again...yeah, God had something else in mind.  First Johnny got sick, then Kaity, my dad, Becky and then Joe.  Needless to say, none of them were coming, and we made some hugely last minute (as in, the morning we were leaving last minute) changes to "the plan" and I got a ride up to Portland with the amazing Scott family.

About half way up to Portland I realized that I was not entirely well.  We got there, I checked in and got past the dreaded script check and visited people.  At that point I didn't want to infect anyone with "the plague" so when people came up and tried to give me hugs they would get responses like, "Don't touch me!  I'm sick!"   Sweet Sarah Anne, Devin and Mrs. Paul were, I think, the only people daring enough to hug me anyway...I wouldn't have been! 

God sure does work in strange and mysterious ways, doesn't He?  If it were up to me everyone would be healthy at every tournament and everyone would make it to Nationals and everyone would get first in at least one event at at least one tournament...wouldn't that be so predictable, though?  Man, life would get boring if I were in charge!

For those of you who don't know, Regionals is generally a four day tournament.  The first day is almost always exclusively Illustrated Oratory, Extemporaneous and Debate rounds, along with check in for everyone.  This meant that I didn't have to speak at all on Wednesday, and that was perfectly fine with me.

Around the time of announcements and worship (sometime after 4) I really started feeling ill.  I found a nice, somewhat quiet hallway and curled up against the wall.  In not very much time at all I was begging God to let me throw up...and He let me throw up =P  Sarah Anne and my amazing duo partner, Ariel, stayed with me almost the whole time and were praying right along with me.

I ended up spending that night with the fantastic Strom family, who risked their health and happiness and welcomed a girl with the stomach flu into their hotel room.  Tianna and I stayed there during the dinner cruise (they generally have a special dinner event the first night of Regionals) and watched "Risen" and "Revenge of the Risen" of Snowtop Studios.  They were both amazing.  We watched some other stuff also, but nothing like those.

The next morning (Thursday) I made the decision to drop my Dramatic Interpretive speech.  It was a bummer, but I really just needed to rest up and have one less thing to worry about.  I was feeling quite a bit better by that time, but you know how the flu is, and if you don't I envy you.  So I spoke twice on Thursday, my persuasive and our duo each once.  My mom, Kaity and Johnny drove up to Portland that afternoon (they were all feeling better) and we got a hotel room of our own, it was wonderful to have my mommy there!

Friday I was feeling pretty much all the way better which was marvelous.  Speeches went well the first round, much better than Thursday, and I had a great time visiting with people.  Debate octa-finals were scheduled for 2:00 that afternoon, but, for some odd tab thing that I didn't quite understand, they didn't end up needing octafinals at all.  We then had two hours to kill... So naturally Tianna, Ariel, Sarah Anne, myself, Raymond, Jared and Hannah of Snowtop Studios, along with a few other speechians found an empty room and had some fun with duos.  Ariel and I did an over dramatized, super funny version of our duo, and then we swapped characters.  Then we had a few people do impromptu duos and some odd duo renditions of movies or books...It was pretty much awesome  =)

The next speech pattern I had my persuasive scheduled 6th and our duo scheduled last (which was 7th or 8th).  I gave my persuasive and then a few people met me in the hall and said that Ariel was waiting for me and that it was our turn to perform our duo.  Now, you must understand that the duo room was not right down the hall.  It was down a hall, down a flight of stairs, down another hall, through a gym, up a flight of stairs and down another hall.  So I took off my heels and sprinted.  That was our best duo round.  We had so much fun!  We had a large audience and they laughed at every even halfway funny line we said.  Ariel and I both had a blast.

The last day, Saturday, my family was running a bit late so I got there just in time to hear that I had broken to semi finals in my persuasive!  I was scheduled to go first, so my prayer warrior, Sarah Anne, prayed for me and I gave my speech.  I didn't make a single mistake, God gave me a perfect round!  The judges were quite responsive and they looked like they got the message, and that's what this is all about.  Turns out one of my judges was the younger sister of Alex and Brett Harris, who I mention in my speech.

I didn't break to finals, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that God used my speech to touch hearts, change lives and help the homeless.  That was what this whole speech was about from the beginning, that's why I did it.

I got eighth place with my persuasive speech, a couple of slots away from qualifying to Nations.  Yes, I'm sad that I'm probably done with it.  The whole time I gave this speech, at the Clarion tournament in January, the Emerald City tournament last month and at Regionals it was like a treasure hunt.  At each of those tournaments at least once God performed incredible miracles through this speech, it became something that I looked forward to, that I hunted for, the next miracle that God would choose to do.  Yes, I'm sad, but I know that God used that speech to touch the exact people that He wanted to touch in the exact ways that He wanted them touched at the exact tournaments that He wanted them touched at. On top of all that, He used this speech to draw me closer to Him in drastic ways. I will never be the same.

There is still a chance that I could get an at large slot to Nationals, or I could compete at the Stoa Nationals, if God wants me speaking there He will open the doors, but if not, so be it.  I'm just grateful that He helped me to write this speech in the first place, and that He chose to work in such amazing ways through it.  My simple little speech... What a humbling experience.  Thank you, Lord, for everything.

Over and out,


Monday, April 11, 2011

Be Thou My Wisdom

 I've been thinking about my last post and the things that the Lord has been teaching me lately and I thought that I should do a follow up "Be Thou My Vision" post on the first two lines of the second verse... So here it is  =)
"Be Thou my wisdom,
and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;"

Directly after my miracle finals round at the Emerald City tournament (read about it here) I read my Bible.  I don't often just open it up to wherever, but I opened it up to Proverbs, and prayed that God would lead me to read the chapter that He wanted me to.  He opened it up to Proverbs chapter 3, which has now become very dear to me, and is now one of my favorite Proverbs.  Verses 13-14 say, "Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold."

King Solomon, the man God used to write the book of Proverbs, had an incredible opportunity.  1 Kings chapter 3 says that, "the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream by night, and God said, "Ask what I shall give you." And Solomon said..."O LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of David my father, although I am but a little child. I do not know how to go out or come in...Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil,""  Solomon could have asked for riches, power and long life, but he realized that wisdom, or understanding, "is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold."  Solomon essentially had the world at his finger tips in that moment, but he asked for wisdom, he asked for understanding.

I have never really felt like a wise person, I think I have made a few wise decisions, but I don't think of myself as a wise person.  So many times I have felt inadequate for tasks, I feel like I'm not wise enough, like I don't possess enough understanding, but you know what's great about not being wise?  Through my weakness, my lack of wisdom and understanding, God shows His strength.

Proverbs 3:19-20 says, "The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; by his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew."  These verses really got me!  God is so wise, so full of understanding that He created the earth and heaven and hell all through and by His wisdom, understanding and knowledge!  Man!  Is He wise, or is He wise?  Reading those verses gave me a new understanding of the line in this beloved hymn "Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true Word."  God is so amazingly, unfathomably wise that nobody can, or ever will, understand the extent of His wisdom, it's simply not possible. 

I want that kind of wisdom, but I can never have it for myself...Unless...Wait, is it possible?  Could I possibly have that kind of wisdom?  Yes, surprisingly enough, we all can, well, we can, but it won't really be ours.  It is God's wisdom, and always will be, He just lets us use it, isn't that fantastic?

Lord, I know that I am an unwise person who lacks understanding.  Lord, I know that you are the only way for me to have any form of wisdom at all.  I want to be wise, Father.  Please, "Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word!"

Moving on to the next line of this stupendous hymn, "I ever with The and Thou with me, Lord."  This one sort of had me confused for a little while, I mean Psalm 139:7-10 says, "Where shall I go from your Spirit?  Or where shall I flee from your presence?  If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!  If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me." Obviously God is always with us, there's no escaping Him, even if I wanted to (which I don't...).  The confusing part is that this hymn is pretty much a prayer, and we don't really need to pray for God to always be with us, because He already is always with us.  I'm sure that, like most hymns, there is more than one meaning to be extracted from each line, but this is the one that the Lord revealed to me:  How often am I living like Jesus is right there watching everything that I do, hearing everything that I say and everything that I think?  Do I live like that?  To be honest, no.  I think this line goes right along with "Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word."  I don't think that there is much separation at all between the two lines at all.

My trusty Webster's 1940 defines 'wisdom' as, "Knowledge practically applied."  This requires an action, practically applying.  I think that this line is doing more than simply stating that God is always with us.  It is a prayer, asking God to give us the wisdom to act on the knowledge that He gives us, the knowledge that He is always with us.  Practically applying that knowledge would be (among other things) acting, thinking, talking, serving, worshiping, praying, loving and fighting like God is right next to us, watching every move we make, hearing every word and every thought, because guess what?  He is.

This has now become almost a hobby of mine, digging down into the meaning of hymns.  you ought to try it some time  =)

My God bless you with His unfathomable wisdom, God bless you all!

Over and out,


Monday, April 4, 2011

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

 I won't deny it, this is a very challenging hymn.  It is one of my favorites, but it is very, very challenging.

It's an easy thing to say "Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart," but praying this prayer from your heart and truly meaning it is another story.  Then, once we actually mean this prayer, it is even harder to live it out.  See, the hymn doesn't stop at "Be Thou my vision," it goes on to say "Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art."  As I am prone to do when I am writing, or just thinking, about a topic, I pulled out my trusty Webster's 1940 dictionary, which defines 'Vision' as, "The act or sense of seeing, sight, object of sight."  God being our "object of sight" should change the way that we view everything!  It's kind of like if I were cell phone shopping (with no spending limit...).  As I look at the dozens of cell phones my gaze turns toward the iPhone 4.  All of a sudden those other phones sort of fade away and all I see is that iPhone.  Now all of those other phones seem obsolete, low tech and so not the phone I'll be getting.  Before I saw the iPhone I was impressed by the other phones, "Wow!  This one has a slide out QWERTY keyboard!"  I thought.  After the iPhone, though, my thoughts were more along the lines of, "Psh.  Slide out keyboard?  The iPhone has a touch screen keyboard that switches directions when I turn the phone!"  The iPhone is now my vision, the object of my sight, and no other phone matters.

Okay, okay, really bad illustration, and the iPhone isn't that amazing, but I think you probably understand what I'm trying to get at.

When we are not walking with the Lord our vision gets twisted.  It's like putting on a pair of prescription eyeglasses that aren't yours, everything looks strange and is distorted.  The glasses twist your judgement and your reflexes.  With those glasses that don't work right, little dollar tree plastic cups might look like the Queen's crystal, but when you take those glasses (the "worldly" glasses) off and God comes into focus, you realize that the thing that you had been looking at, admiring and coveting even, was junk and that God is all that matters.  Psalm 63:3 says, "Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee."  God's lovingkindness is better than life, He is all that matters.

This beautiful hymn goes on, again going deeper, to say, "Thou my best thought, by day or by night."  Now, I know that most of us know what 'best' means, but I quite like the way that Webster's 1940 puts it, "Of the first quality or standing; most desirable; the highest state of excellence."  "Thou my best thought by day or by night" is saying that God is, or should be, our most desirable thought, our thought with the first quality or standing, the thought of ours with the highest state of excellence.  This song isn't simply saying that God is all of these things but that we should be thinking of, dwelling on God in remembrance of the fact that He is these things "by day or by night"  Pretty much, we should be distracted by God!  God should be taking up so much of our time, thought, energy and devotion that we don't have any extra time, any extra thought, any extra energy or any extra devotion to waste on the world.  (As an aside, we are to do things, not just think godly thoughts, God comands us to do things, but the motivation behind doing good deeds needs to come from focusing on God.)

I don't think of God in this way.  I don't find myself constantly thinking about, meditating on God.  I don't find myself thinking that He is the most desirable thing to think about.  See what I mean by a challenging hymn?  Psalm 63:4-6 says, "Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.  My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches."

The first verse of this challenging hymn ends with "waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."  John 8:12 says, "Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.""  This goes right along with "Be Thou my vision," doesn't it?  Vision, "the object of sight" cannot really be attained without light.  I can try my hardest  to read a book in a pitch black room, but it isn't going to happen, I need light.  I think it's amazing that God is both the light to help us see, and then the object of the sight that He gives us.  Isn't that fantastic?

I have been realizing more and more lately how God is not the object of my sight, but He needs to be.  I spend my days thinking about speech tournaments, school, friends, family, the weather, summer plans, books and so many other things.  So often I find myself just sitting and thinking about things.  Rarely, though, do I find myself sitting and just thinking about God, and that has got to change. 

This hymn has now become a prayer for me, I truly mean it, now I just have to work on living it out. 

Lord?  Please, be my vision!

Over and out,