Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

"I praise You, 

for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  

Wonderful are your works; 

my soul knows it very well."

(Psalm 139:14)

I don't know why, but I always thought of these two sentences as totally unrelated.  

"Wonderful are your works," could never, after all, be talking about me.  My soul knows that the Lord's works are wonderful, but my soul does not include myself in those works.

Why, though?

Why is it that I see the Lord working through so many around me, and yet, I cannot see it in myself?  

I can certainly see the sanctifying process going on.  I can certainly feel conviction.  I certainly know that I need work.  I certainly know that He's working on me and in me... But through me?

I suppose it's silly to think that everyone else is able to change the course of history, but Emily is unable to.

I suppose it's silly to think that there is beauty in every other person, but not in Emily.

I suppose it's silly to love and admire the people around me, and then completely ignore them when they pay me a compliment.

I didn't think I was a particularly vain person, until I understood what vanity really is.  See, I don't sit around admiring myself, I sit around criticizing myself.  But I'm still thinking of myself.

C.S. Lewis so wisely said,

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, 

but thinking of yourself less."

There is such a dreadfully small line we must walk, between one side of vanity and the other.  On one side is pride and self-worship, on the other is feeling of failure and self-loathing.  Right in the middle is humility.

Oh!  To be able to humbly accept a compliment!  To not brush it off, but to truly thank people, without letting it get to my head!  To understand that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, beautiful in God's image, and to know that I have nothing to do with that.

I am often so fearful of the prideful side of vanity, that I stray much too far into the other side of it.

But it is vanity, nonetheless.

I think the perfect balance is found in this quote:

"When people come up and give me a compliment, 

I take each remark as if it were a flower. 

 At the end of each day I lift up the bouquet of flowers 

I have gathered throughout the day and say, 

'Here You are, Lord, it is all Yours.'"

(Corrie Ten Boom)

Over and out,

~Emily

P.S. I've been fighting colds on and off since Thanksgiving... and I'm pretty tired of being sick.  Prayer would be lovely!