But when I come to big changes in life; when I come to fearfully new things, things I've always dreamed of, things that are not new ideas, but rather new experiences, when I come to these things, I can feel my mind's heels dragging in the dirt, trying to stop them from happening. I try to get used to these things, try to feel fine about them, but the whole, "mind over matter," idea has never worked too well for me.
It's so easy to forget that God has this all in His hand. It's easy to think, "Uh-oh, unknown territory! Reverse! Get me out of here!"
But then we get sick of our lives. I get so sick and tired of always doing the same things, never moving forward, never turning the page to the next chapter. So, why not allow Him to turn the pages? Why am I holding onto the page I'm on, as though my life depends on it?
Looking back on my life, the past year has been filled with change. Little changes that I barely even noticed at the time have now become monumental in my walk with the Lord. God uses change for good. God uses everything for good.
Why is this so hard to remember? It's so easy to worry about every little detail of everything, but I usually get in the way when I do that.
I'm not advocating "Let go and let God." I think that's silly. God never had anyone sit there and have Him wait on them hand and foot. God never had anyone do nothing. However, we over-think things, in regards to worry. I firmly believe that we should not jump into things without praying about it. But, praying about it shouldn't take two years. And if it does, get off the couch and do something while you're praying!
Oh, I find myself using excuse after excuse for not knocking on doors. "The time isn't right." "I haven't heard God tell me yet." ect. Now, if God is telling you the time isn't right, then so be it. But if you are waiting for fireworks in the sky, you will almost definitely be out of luck.
I've been realizing more and more lately, that following God is like it was with Abraham. God didn't give him a map, He didn't point out every trial along the way, every landmark, every river. God tells us to take a step, and then another and then another. As with the Israelites, God is a pillar of fire by night. We can't see anything else; we can't see where we're going. We just follow.
Or we should anyway.
Why do I feel like I need to know everything? Why do I dip one toe into the water and hold it there for five hours before stepping in? It sounds absurd when I put it that way, doesn't it? Five hours? But when I think about that, I do that all the time.
It ought to be simple.
Follow the pillar. you may not see anything else, but follow Him, and all will be well.
For some reason this is hard to execute, though. I think that the pillar is usually two inches outside of our comfort zones, and that two inches can seem terrifying.
Over and out,
P.S. Wow, it took me forever to type this. I'm pretty sure I broke my pinkie yesterday, so it's taped to my ring finger and I lost the use of both fingers... I've never made so many typos in my life!
Lavender photo from here. Verse added by myself.