Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I Want it NOW

I am ever waging a war against discontentment.  Right now, I'm content with what I have, where I live, my family and my friends, but myself...that's a different story.

I have been wanting fruit so badly.  I want to see that God is using me to further His Kingdom!  I want to know for sure, but focusing on fruit is just as bad as pouring too much energy into anything else, other than glorifying God.  

"He [the blessed man] is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, 
and its leaf does not wither.  In all that he does, he prospers."
(Psalm 1:3)

Okay, so am I not one of the blessed?  I'm not seeing too much fruit, so... Wait a minute.  "yields its fruit in its season."

It's season.  Not harvest time, when I see fruit in everyone else's lives, but rather, the time that God knows is my season.  I've been seeing so much fruit coming from Josh's death, and in other friends' lives and it's hard not to become discouraged.  The thing that's difficult to remember is that God's timing is best.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time."
(Ecclesiastes 3:11)

I don't know that Josh saw much fruit in his life before he died.  Maybe he did, I certainly can't say for sure, but this does make me wonder.  He definitely didn't see the kind of fruit that is being harvested now.  I wonder if he was getting discouraged over not seeing much fruit.  God, the great gardener, knows when the fruit is ready to be harvested, and it's rarely the same time for each of us.

Sometimes I can get so obsessed with producing fruit that I forget to prune the tree.  I'm too caught up in looking up into the dying branches to remember that the tree needs watering.  I see the tree next to me, which is beautiful and simply stuffed with its juicy crop, and I become disgusted in my own poor, sad, naked little branches.  Somehow I don't stop to consider why the other tree is doing so well.

Josh didn't do anything extraordinary, but he did all the ordinary things in an extraordinary way: he did them for God.  I'm not saying Josh was perfect, but he got it.  Why would God trust me with precious fruit when I have neglected to deal with the bugs eating away at my roots?  

"Well done, good and faithful servant.  
You have been faithful over a little; 
I will set you over much."  
(Matthew 25:21)

I've been wanting fruit pretty badly.  And I think that's a good desire; it will hopefully push me to work hard at doing fruitful things for the Kingdom.  But, as with anything else, when it is taking too much of our time away from worshiping and glorifying God, it's not healthy.  And when I'm wanting the product, but not to produce it, then that's only going to be counterproductive.

You know what just hit me?  Wanting fruit too badly was what got us into this whole mess in the first place...


This post was kind of all over the place; I hope some of it made sense!  Love you all. <3

Over and out,



  1. This makes so much sense! Thanks for sharing :)

    Gina X

    1. I'm so glad it wasn't confusing! Hehe. Thank you for the comment, Gina. =)

  2. Emily, how I remember such feelings.....actually, I think it's more a matter of not realizing what God's fruit looks like. After all, you're writing this blog----I would call the very thoughts a kind of fruit. Blossoms at the very least:-) Be encouraged. BTW, love the header on this, and the picture as illustration. Good stuff.

    1. Thank you so much, Sue. Yes, I suppose His fruit often doesn't look like we expect it to. Thank you for the thoughts!

    2. I'm sorry, I didn't realize until after I had posted the above comment who you are! I would not have used your first name had I known before. I'm sorry for being disrespectful.

      I just found your blog and I know already that it will be a great read!


  3. Oh my goodness, this is so good. Exactly what I need to hear. I've not been faithful in the little things, but I've been expecting big fruit in my life. I'm convicted about how random I've been these last few days of staying up late, sleeping in late, procrastinating on little tasks through the day. I'm getting off my duff RIGHT now to go put my BALLOT in the drop box at the Courthouse and then I will come home and clean the house like there's no tomorrow :D I think I'm going to tape this blogpost to my wall.

    1. Oh, thank you, Alexa! I'm so glad that this was encouraging (and convicting, as well...this post was entirely preaching to myself, but I'm so glad it's helping others, too!).

      Speaking of getting off my duff...I shall now go eat lunch and then weed like it's a calling from God! Oh wait, my mom told me to weed, so it IS a calling from God! ;)

      Love you, girl!

  4. So true! This was encouraging and convicting...I need to remind myself of this! I have been thinking about this a lot.

    It's good to remember "in its season". I often forget those three little words....

    1. So glad you enjoyed it, Natalie! Yes, sadly those three words are some of the most important, and also the hardest to remember.

  5. good post!! one thing i have learned concerning wanting to actually see something good come out of you. is don't jump ahead of His will. His timing is so beautiful and fulfilling! ^_^

    1. Oh, definitely! That's one of those lessons that I am constantly having to re-learn. =P Thank you!

  6. Emily, I love your honesty! Sometimes we forget the giver of the fruit.